You guys like my new do?
I have no idea how this pic got on my phone. That’s a lie. I put it there. But I don’t know who took it. That’s also a lie. @michaelallencreative took it almost a year ago. My life is being crushed under the weight of my lies. That’s another lie. I’m doing great.
Enjoying my retirement! 👴🏻
It’s 100+ degrees out... but I just got a new suit...
This is my new everyday outfit. Thank you all for supporting my good choices 🙏
Had a lovely time on vacation with this lovely lady!
Soon... w/ @tayrose925
Stage 2 SWOLE. Close to achieving dummy thicc status. 1 like = 1 swole 💪
Stage 1 puffiness. If I swell up more I will post an update. 1 like = 1 prayer 🙏
I’m on a horse
Fun in the sun 🌞
MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Chica's grump because she only got 2 more presents than Henry did...
I think this #GalaxyNote9 that @samsungmobileusa sent me is making me a better Fortnite player 😐 Check it out for yourself, LINK IN BIO!! #ad
Samsung gave me a giftbox! A BIG gift box! Let's see what's inside! #ad #GalaxyNote9 @SamsungMobileUSA smsng.us/Markiplier
Half-way home for Christmas
Thankfully the bubs don’t hate the trip to Cincy too much!
I’m glad we all agree that Amy was the best part of my 2018. I’m a lucky doooooooood. #top9
I’m gonna be so good at handling the reigns on Santa’s sleigh this year! Many thanks to @stevejordanfitness for teaching me to slap some rope around.
Got tortured to raise money for Stand Up to Cancer! Totally worth it! Thank you all SO MUCH for helping us do a world of good! I still have $30k of my $52,444 matching donation left to donate which I’ll make happen as soon as the banks open tomorrow! BIG PREESH EVERYBODY!!
Got a haircut.
Fuckin love that guy
Happy 3 year anniversary to the greatest bub to ever lub! Thank you Chica for bringing me endless joy and endless poops!
What kind of colors would you like to see in the future from @cloakbrand ?
CLOAK RIDES AGAIN!! It’s launch day and the entire store has been restocked alongside new Beanies and Quarter-zips available now! Link in BIO!!
THEY NIBBLED ME TO DEATH!! cheeky plug... wearing @cloakbrand You probably didn’t notice... cuz it was hiding in plain sight...
Quarter-zips by @cloakbrand coming next week
How to speak like a French p2
🥀 wearing —> @cloakbrand
In Auckland, New Zealand. Time for one last tour... wearing —> @cloakbrand
Hearin’ some bops @ —> Demon dooz